*The only humorous poem I’ve written to date, and written because it was for an entry to a bad poetry contest.  I did not win, but maybe that’s OK?


I saw Bigfoot kiss a flower

Which reminded me of you.

You are so very pretty

Not just here but in any city.

And you are not an old bitty

Like someone who a sweater knitties.

But you are cute like kitties.

I like when you sing ditties.


I know Venus is a planet

Which reminded me of you.

You always have a nice hair-do.

Your eyes are like pools

And you, of course are cool

Like someone out of high school

And it’s not me that you can fool

Because to my heart you have the tools.


I have several big teeth

Which of course reminds me of you.

Your elbows are like a magic potion.

I get your awesome neck action.

I like how you walk and function.

My heart must have a love infection.

I am pleased with your mid-section.


Most ladders help you go up

Which mostly reminds me of you.

It is for you I sing a song,

One not short but not too long.

But don’t cry and try to be strong.

This is not a show where you I’d gong.

If you like, please wear a thong.

This love, so deep, cannot be wrong.


It is obvious that toothpicks are useful

Which almost reminds me of you.

I look at you, you’re such a doll.

I think you’re bouncy, like a ball.

If you’re cold, I’ll give you a shawl.

I would date you in public, even the mall.

Probably write our names on the bathroom wall.

Maybe even the handicap stall.


There are certainly peas in most soups

Which always reminds me of you.

As you see, it’s for you I fell.

When I see you off go bells.

To my friends you’d be an easy sell.

I hope this poem finds you well.

I think you’re more than pretty swell

And this is not something I’m afraid to yell.

I love you, can’t you tell?